Boots on the ground and potholes being suddenly filled could only mean one thing: the political silly season has arrived and is being revved up to high gear. Pretty soon, people will come knocking on the door, and they won’t be Jehovah’s Witnesses but Fighters, Cadres, sometimes an obscure figure you’ve never even heard of.
The usual modus operandi is upon us: the kissing of babies, blankets for the elderly, promises of new jobs. Don’t forget the jargon: manifesto, programme of action, statement of intent … after all these years, they’ve all begun to run together, with nothing to set any one of them apart and make their originators more credible to the masses. We’re not psychic, we just know the drill. For decades this is the same script the populace has grown accustomed to.
So if it’s not broken, why fix it, right? Well, because for the first time in three decades the numbers are no longer what they used to be. Nobody’s political future is guaranteed, and the guillotine could come down on anybody. The nation’s politics have undergone seismic shifts that have sometimes obliterated old alliances and ideologies and resulted in an entirely new environment to operate in.
The ruling ANC took a major hammering in the general elections two years ago. The once flagrant and promising EFF appears to have hit a ceiling, and the new kid on the block, the MK Party, is – at least according to the political analyst Prince Mashele — destined to take over the important the vital metro of eThekwini. Now, because the laboured electioneering copy and paste no longer has the desired effect, parties seem to be dabbling in new bluffs and schemes. In this panic mode, the pressure is taking its toll, and stuff-ups as well as the unlikeliest confessions are coming from figures who tend to double down when the questions become too difficult.
Smelling blood, peripheral opportunists have become emboldened, reminding us of the one sensible thing the dreadfully animated Fallist leader Mcebo Dlamini ever said, namely that South Africa is a movie – a B-grade flop that promises fireworks, only to bomb and disappoint before it’s even hit the box office.
If not, then please explain how someone like Ntsiki Mazwai could ever think she could run for the nation’s most important mayoralty – the City of Johannesburg — and actually win. The ever grumbling poet who’s perpetually twarring, trolling or texting about the insatiable carnal desires of the 40-plus female body has come out as the mayoral candidate for the hitherto (at least to this writer) unheard-of Land Party.
Yes, the one who is a supposed hardline feminist but also a serial online troll, with nothing good to say about anybody who dislikes her social media rage-baiting. The one who once had the nation’s men in a frenzy when she concluded through a tweet on X that South African men had been dealt a bad hand when it came to, uhm, ‘size’. Wish I was making this stuff up, except these are just some of the things she is most famous for. But it gets even wilder. How about Prince Mashele, the analyst mentioned above and whom we run about some time ago?
Well, rumour has it that shortly after the LGE he will be launching his very own political party. Promising to rope in the very brightest minds across all racial groups, Mashele is adamant that his meritocratic entity will go on to challenge the ANC as early as the 2029 general election. Now, here is where things might get a little sticky for Mashele and would-be voters. He has reportedly been quick to approach billionaire Rob Hersov for some R2 billion to kick-start the venture. (I’d urge the reader to revisit that earlier article on Mashele, jjust to show that our suspicions were not unfounded after all.)
ANC Secretary-General Fikile Mbalula has been out and about pleading for one more chance from the electorate. Mbaks has even ditched the usual vanity, and openly admitted to the party’s ‘mistakes’, but has been quick to assure voters that party leaders are working hard to fix them. These remarks have resulted in serious lampooning on the socials, especially the bit about second chances. As in, haven’t we’ve been giving you second chances since 2009?
In fact, so intent is a certain group on teaching the ANC a lesson that there’s an online campaign to locate a certain woman in an informal settlement somewhere outside Bloemfontein. During a recent visit by the Free State premier, Maqueen Letsoha-Mathae, this unnamed woman, sitting next to an informal structure, boldly told the premier and her people to ‘go away’ in front of the cameras. She became an overnight sensation on social media, as she had clearly expressed what so many wished they could. Last I checked, the idea of providing her with financial support was circulating widely online.
For the past three decades, the powers that be have had it relatively easy. Hyped up by the spirit of democracy, the constituency was malleable; people ate up the BS, held on to the leaders’ every word, and believed that things could only start to get better. Not so anymore. Whoever would seek to run things even at local government level must come with a new set of skills, because the old tricks have obviously stopped working.
Mbalula seems to have realised that the usual spin is no longer going to cut it. The Free State premier didn’t realise just how angry people were, and she was punished for it. In the meantime, Helen Zille has been running a catchy campaign. Instead of the usual ideological fluff, it’s gone back to the basics: service delivery, employment, and good and clean governance. Our celebrity poet hasn’t stopped trolling, but at least she is now focusing on radical politics. Like I said – the circus is in town.
Featured image: Free State Premier Maqueen Letsoha-Mathae. Source: Premier Maqueen Letsoha-Mathae Facebook page.